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Who Am I?

7/18/2011

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I was born perfect and whole and knowing Who I Am. Then I learned separation.  Then I learned Who I Am Not.  Then I was told that Who I Am is wrong.  "You're doing it wrong.  Who you think you are is wrong. I know who you are.  I know who you should be. I know you better than you know yourself." So I went along with it, not knowing any different.  Each new person that came along told me something different, so I went along with it.  I believed that Who I Am was whatever I was being told at the moment.  So each new Who I Am shakeup meant resignation, grief, fear, regret, shame.  And that became Who I Am.

Then I begin to hear Spirit, and hear them telling me that all those things are NOT Who I Am.  And so that new shakeup triggers resignation, grief, fear, regret, shame.  The sudden pulling-out of the rug.  The shakeup feels like it always has. The showing to me of glimpses of WHO I AM shakes me to the very core, even through the fear.  The mirroring of WHO I AM by new others in my life who I admire, love and respect also shakes me.  Because who I see in that mirror reminds me of the original Who I Am that I came in with.  Reminds me that I've lived a false life.  Reminds me of my compliance, of everything I lost, and oh the grief.  And then I feel shame at the compliance.  Even now, sometimes when I have heard "there is another way" I still hear "you are wrong."

And even through the grief and shame I see glimmers, flashing glimpses of the real true original Who I Am.  The whole, perfect, loved and loving ME.  That there was NEVER ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME.  NEVER.  And I am beginning to see the joy of Guidance and Trust and Love.  I am learning that the layers put upon me were not mine.  That my wounds are healing rapidly, that there is NO SHAME in the process.  I am learning to feel trust in ME again, and in Spirit again.  And I will trust Guidance that when My Love is present, he will help me overcome the last of the damage done, in unconditional love and acceptance of me AS I AM.  As WHO I AM.  And that is good, not fearful.  Because I am learning that I am BELOVED.   I am learning that I am SO worthy of love and respect.  I am SO worthy of having, and of giving.  And that what I have to give the world is worthy of acceptance by those who will benefit, especially WHO I AM.

After the shattering from the earthquake, then is revealed the hidden treasure.

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    Holly Matson is the owner of Lightseeds by Holly, an animal Reiki service to offer balance and wellbeing to animals.

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