Who Am I?
I was born perfect and whole and knowing Who I Am. Then I learned separation. Then I learned Who I Am Not. Then I was told that Who I Am is wrong. "You're doing it wrong. Who you think you are is wrong. I know who you are. I know who you should be. I know you better than you know yourself." So I went along with it, not knowing any different. Each new person that came along told me something different, so I went along with it. I believed that Who I Am was whatever I was being told at the moment. So each new Who I Am shakeup meant resignation, grief, fear, regret, shame. And that became Who I Am.
Then I begin to hear Spirit, and hear them telling me that all those things are NOT Who I Am. And so that new shakeup triggers resignation, grief, fear, regret, shame. The sudden pulling-out of the rug. The shakeup feels like it always has. The showing to me of glimpses of WHO I AM shakes me to the very core, even through the fear. The mirroring of WHO I AM by new others in my life who I admire, love and respect also shakes me. Because who I see in that mirror reminds me of the original Who I Am that I came in with. Reminds me that I've lived a false life. Reminds me of my compliance, of everything I lost, and oh the grief. And then I feel shame at the compliance. Even now, sometimes when I have heard "there is another way" I still hear "you are wrong."
And even through the grief and shame I see glimmers, flashing glimpses of the real true original Who I Am. The whole, perfect, loved and loving ME. That there was NEVER ANYTHING WRONG WITH ME. NEVER. And I am beginning to see the joy of Guidance and Trust and Love. I am learning that the layers put upon me were not mine. That my wounds are healing rapidly, that there is NO SHAME in the process. I am learning to feel trust in ME again, and in Spirit again. And I will trust Guidance that when My Love is present, he will help me overcome the last of the damage done, in unconditional love and acceptance of me AS I AM. As WHO I AM. And that is good, not fearful. Because I am learning that I am BELOVED. I am learning that I am SO worthy of love and respect. I am SO worthy of having, and of giving. And that what I have to give the world is worthy of acceptance by those who will benefit, especially WHO I AM.
After the shattering from the earthquake, then is revealed the hidden treasure.
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Holly Matson is the owner of Lightseeds by Holly, an animal Reiki service to offer balance and wellbeing to animals.