I have friends in the holistic community who feel boundaries are restrictive and limiting. In my life, however, I find that healthy boundaries allow me to honor myself first, so that I may share abundantly.
In other words, you may believe in positive creation, no limits, and infinite possibilities, but I'll bet you lock your doors at night!
This topic came up recently when I was asked for some minor business assistance by someone I just met who is spiritually very needy and clingy...the sort who will not let you go. I had to be very aware of, and hold onto, my time and energy limitations in order to honor my own needs first. FIRST, not instead of.
It can be a tricky balance to observe your own boundaries while at the same time being of service to others. The person without healthy limitations may end up giving everything way...their knowledge, their time, their energy, their being. But when you give it all away freely, you may find yourself with a well that's running dry.
When you are aware of and accept what you are (or are not) willing and able to do for others, you take care of yourself first. For me, this means doing only work that brings me joy, limiting the time I spend in crowds or noise, staying aware of my time and commitments, and frequent self-care.
Whether in a personal, work, or play setting, are there times when you default to giving no matter the cost? How have you resolved this...or HAVE you resolved it?
Remember, an attitude of ME first is not selfish, it allows you to stay in integrity for yourself first, with balance. It allows you to have the resources to share your gifts and light in appropriate and healthy ways.
Please comment below...I'd love to hear how you balance your boundaries!
Honor Yourself with Boundaries
I've been on Facebook for a very long time and I appreciate the network I share with. I am also discerning regarding accepting new friend requests. Recently I was reminded of the importance of my boundaries of what is acceptable on my news feed.
Someone I met at a gathering friended me, and because she seemed a pleasant person I accepted. I had only seen a couple of posts in my timeline from her and it was very obvious that we had social views on the opposite end of the spectrum from each other. And that's fine! I believe everyone should post authentically on their own page. Last week, this person shared a meme that was vile. I was disheartened that someone would create it, let alone that anyone would share it as appropriate. And so **click** UNFOLLOW! I felt relief about that.
In my work life, I LOVE being my own boss...I get to decide with whom I work, and I am able to honor boundaries there as well. I have conversed with prospects who either felt angry to me, or operating from ego or fear. I have had unfortunate experiences with a couple of clients who used me to work through their own issues. And through these boundary tests, I have learned that loving ME first is the most important thing. As I honor who I am, what I believe, and what energy I work with, I am more open to those who will benefit from a working relationship with me...those who understand that honoring self first fills your well so that you have abundance to share with others.
And those with whom I choose to not create a relationship will find the perfect match for their energy - but I am not that match!
Now, nay-sayers, be aware I am NOT talking about love. I send love and light everywhere I go. That's a very different thing from honoring personal boundaries.
Become more aware of what you feel when meeting people for the first time, whether live or virtually. Honor yourself and your boundaries, and share your energy as you choose.
Holly Matson is the owner of Lightseeds by Holly, an animal Reiki service to offer balance and wellbeing to animals.