Right this minute, on the cusp of a new year, STOP IT! Stop being harsh to yourself, stop scolding, "shoulding," rushing, blaming. Do you ever catch yourself with self-talk you would never use on a loved one?
Self love means nourishing yourself, guiding yourself, not worrying and punishing yourself. If you do not have love for the self, how can you properly have love for others? It all comes back to the frequently-used analogy of the airplane's oxygen mask. Take care of yourself first so that you can help others. FIRST...not instead-of, not in-spite-of, not only...FIRST.
In my work I have occasionally caught myself completing tasks for clients first, before those I need to accomplish for my own personal or professional life. The awareness is a good thing - a "re-routing" on my GPS. Mixing metaphors freely here, if I don't ensure that my well is full and I allow it to run dry, there's no water for any of us!
Choose to pay attention to your self-talk, and be gentle. Instead of "Well that was a stupid thing to do," try "I could have made a better decision and next time I will." Rather than "Oh, crap, you fool - you forgot to.....," try "I choose to use this new method to manage my time and my tasks." Focus on all the wonderful things you know about yourself, and remind yourself of them every day - preferably in a mirror. And soon, your well will be abundant and flourishing with sweet water for all!